The Goings-On of Ms. Megan-Marie

Well it’s been almost a year since I last posted.  And what a year it’s been.  Too tired to go into detials right now, but if you really want to catch up on what’s been going on feel free to check out my myspace page.  It gets updated far more frequently than this.

http://www.myspace.com/mmkc

This is just wrong.

Ok, so it’s been over a month since my last post. Sue me. I’ll break down the update so’s youse can pick n’ choose a topic(s) of your preference.

Knitting:

* Finished my first “Keep it Simple” chemo cap. Made it out of “Berry Parfait” Poof yarn. Came out quite cute, soft and warm. I hope the person I made it for enjoys it. Haven’t heard yeah or neah…mainly because I don’t work with her sister anymore. But I thank you note would have been nice..but I digress.

* Finished the baby hat for another former co-worker. She and her partner has a super cute little girl, and I made her a little roll brim/top knot hat out of Artful Yarn-Candy “JuJuBe”. So cute, and quite easy. (It looks kind of like the umbilical hat in SnB). Yet again, no thank you. Oh well…

* Finished a couple of scarves just for shits and grins and to practice. Started making a scarf out of knit flowers, but it’s on the back burner as more important projects have emerged.

* Bought a kick ass book on knitting flowers. It has a felted cloche w/ flower trim that I am dying to attempt. But as I said above, more pressing projects have reared their fuzzy heads.

* Currently working on a Kittyville hat for one of my best friends from H.S.. She had to shave her head during some medical testing. They thought she had had a seizure, and had to run all these awful tests. Turns out she had a severe concussion. So, no tumor…but also no hair. She lives in Northern IN..and it’s a wee it nippy up there. I sent her a few links to cute/not-your-grandmother’s-knitting patterns, and she picked the Kittyville hat. After several froggings, I think I am back on track. Had to go hunting all over St. Louis County last night for size 7, 16″ circulars, but was victorious @ Hobby Lobby.

* Also working on another chemo cap, but the Kittyville hat took precedence…so it too lays in wait.

Work:

* I resigned from FSN in November. My last day was the day after thanksgiving. Started my new job the following Monday. I am still working in development, but am now at an agency whose mission is more near and dear to my heart. (Reading, history, education, museums, etc) It’s going pretty well thus far. Big office w/windows, a super flexible schedule, and I get to travel all over the great state of Missouri promoting our programs. It’s also very different than my last job, as we don’t have the hard-fact, quantitative data that FSN did. There are a lot more statistics on child abuse and neglect then reading programs. So, needless to say, I have to be much more creative in my proposal writing.

Crohn’s:

Have had 2 Remicade infusions thus far. I go in for my 3rd next Friday. And I must say, this stuff is bloody wonderful. Sure, the Benadryl push hurts like hell and I get a really bad headache later that day, and I am having slight tremors in my hands…but I feel so much better! The good days generally outnumber the bad, and I am able to eat more things without setting my body off. Kudos Centocor, kudos.

All for now….

So apparently my brain is turning into mush.  I have been doing stupid things like leaving the door unlocked, forgetting when I am supposed to call Matt, how to do simple (and not so simple) tasks at work, whether I am coming or going, etc.

Sometimes it feels like I’m lucky just to remember to take my meds in the morning.   Let alone remembering things like grabbing my sunglasses, bringing my extra meds with me, brushing my teeth, making sure I have my lunch with me, paying the bills, or keeping my shit straight @ work.  I feel like I am floundering….and it’s pissing Matt off to no end, so that drags my mood right down the tubes.  All I can say is I’m sorry, cause I can’t say for sure whether I’ll remember to fix it/do it right or at all/not do it next time.  I don’t know if it’s all the meds, lack of sleep, neurological damage from a few years of heavy drinking, early signs of dementia, brain slug, etc.  All I can do is try to remember to mention it to my psychiatrist on the 10th.  Plus, my hands (mainly the left one) have started shaking on and off again.

On top of it, I am so terribly bored at work and am really starting to dislike my job.  I just want to go back to bed and not come out for a few days.  Yep, nothing like chronic illnesses, stress, a job you dislike, and a brain like a sieve to make a girl feel like she’s on top of the world.

Whee!

Matt just called me.  He got a raise.  It’s great to see that his bosses realize how hard he works.  He pours his heart and soul into his work.  I am very proud of him.  You rock bebe!

I can’t believe it is already October. Where has the time gone. In 12 days, I will have been working @ FSN and living in Richmond Heights w/ Matt for 5mons. Crazy.

Feeling kind of *bleh* today. Don’t know why…well I kind of do, but that is neither here nor there. Tummy’s rumbling and being generally uncooperative, to boot. Just realized I left my meds @ home, oh bugger. Guess I’ll take them when I get back from the gym.

Still haven’t quite found time to go to the knitting store to get some help on getting going again. Posted a myspace bulletin about it. A plea for assistance. My needles and yarn just sit there in the basement, next to the recliner awaiting my return. They are so patient, not terribly forgiving, but patient none the less.

Work is very boring today. It really sucks that Lynn left. It feels like a lot of energy has been sucked out of the agency since she and Dorothy left. We’re plugging right along, but with less oomph. Maybe it’s just me being negative, which I have a horrible tendency of doing, but it’s just how I’m feeling. So there.

Showed one of the therapists how to use missouri case.net today. That’s a fun site. http://www.courts.mo.gov/casenet/base/welcome.do Look up your friends and family, it will make for great dinner conversationsdurning Thanksgiving. Yo u can thank me later.

I need to go the gym and get my endorphins going. They keep telling me it will make me feel better…and I’ve already paid for it, so I may as well use it. I think I need to go back to therapy too…we’ll see. Well…back to pretending to work.

So…it’s been over a month since I posted anything. Life got a little hectic, what with the Crohn’s diagnosis, the new boss coming in and taking over, Lynn (my director) resigning, my health going up and down the proverbial rollercoaster, etc etc etc.

On a positive note…I have startd knitting again, and am learning to crochet. It is very relaxing, though at time I do get frustrated, but hte repetetive motion is mind numbing and soothing. I am planning on taking my knitting and stuff with me when I start remicade. I am going to attempt making stuff for Project Linus and otehr charities that accept hand made goods. That, and I am going to make some nice scarves and what not for myself and for family. Maybe I’ll knit Begbie a sweater. Megabyte would probably look cute as a button in one too. I don’t think Baxter would wear one, maybe I’ll make him a blanket or something.

Work is boring and nerve wracking at the same time. The change over/transitions are proving more difficult and trickier than we had all hoped. I don’t really feel at liberty to discuss too much of it on here, as it could come back to bite me in the ass. But I digress….

I am going to make a conscious effort to blog more often on here, instead of just on myspace (http://www.myspace.com/mmkc). Might as well track my health and emotions and what not. I’m sure it will come in handy.

out for now…we’re having a baby shower @ work.

Well…Today is going much better than yesterday.   Though, I am starting feel a smidge queasy since I ate solid food.  Was rocking out all day w/ the Slim-Fast I had for breakfast.  I had a wicked pizza craving, so I stopped at Racanelli’s and got a chicken stombolli and now I’m starting to get bloated and queasy.  C’est la vie….will have to ask the doc if I should go on a liquid and soft foods diet for awhile.  I’ve read they can be very helpful, daunting but helpful.

I could easily take a nap right now.  I may go do that anyway, as I have to wok until 10pm-ish tonight anyway.  We have a fundraising event tonight, and out staff will be serving as the waitstaff.  I didn’t really take much more than 15-20 mins today for lunch, so I think I’ll go home soon, lay down for a bit then head out to the event.

More later…