October 6, 2006
So apparently my brain is turning into mush. I have been doing stupid things like leaving the door unlocked, forgetting when I am supposed to call Matt, how to do simple (and not so simple) tasks at work, whether I am coming or going, etc.
Sometimes it feels like I’m lucky just to remember to take my meds in the morning. Let alone remembering things like grabbing my sunglasses, bringing my extra meds with me, brushing my teeth, making sure I have my lunch with me, paying the bills, or keeping my shit straight @ work. I feel like I am floundering….and it’s pissing Matt off to no end, so that drags my mood right down the tubes. All I can say is I’m sorry, cause I can’t say for sure whether I’ll remember to fix it/do it right or at all/not do it next time. I don’t know if it’s all the meds, lack of sleep, neurological damage from a few years of heavy drinking, early signs of dementia, brain slug, etc. All I can do is try to remember to mention it to my psychiatrist on the 10th. Plus, my hands (mainly the left one) have started shaking on and off again.
On top of it, I am so terribly bored at work and am really starting to dislike my job. I just want to go back to bed and not come out for a few days. Yep, nothing like chronic illnesses, stress, a job you dislike, and a brain like a sieve to make a girl feel like she’s on top of the world.
Whee!
